I DELETED THE ACCEPTANCE EMAIL

Dear Delyara, I got into the university I have wanted to attend since seventh grade. Full scholarship. I read the email in the school bathroom because I didn’t want anybody watching my face. I covered my mouth with both hands and jumped up and down silently inside the stall. Then I went home. My dad was asleep on the couch before his night shift. My little brothers were arguing over cereal. The eviction notice was still taped to the refrigerator because Mom said hiding it wouldn’t change anything. I opened the email again after everyone went to bed. There was a button that said ACCEPT OFFER. I stared at it for twenty minutes. If I leave, my mom will lose the person who watches the boys. My father will have to miss work. My brothers will think I chose a new life over them. I deleted the email. It’s still in the trash folder. I know I could recover it. I keep opening the folder and looking at my own future lying there beside advertisements and old receipts.