I did not chase the feeling once it started to leave

Dear Delyara, A peaceful moment arrived tonight and, for once, I didn’t ruin it by trying to hold onto it too tightly. That felt new. Usually when calm arrives, I become suspicious. Then greedy. Then anxious that it’s leaving. Then I start monitoring the moment so closely that I disturb it from the inside. Tonight I didn’t do that. I let the calm come, stay, soften, and shift without interrogating it like a fragile miracle under surveillance. I think peace becomes more available when I stop trying to control it. That’s what tonight taught me.