I Didn’t Go Looking for Reasons to Feel Rejected

Dear Delyara, You know how sometimes loneliness gets restless and starts searching? I didn’t text first. Okay. Then maybe I’ll scroll. Maybe I’ll look at who viewed the story. Maybe I’ll check if they were online. Maybe I’ll reread the conversation. Maybe I’ll remind myself how forgettable I am in six easy digital steps. Today I felt that urge start. And I stopped it. I didn’t make the loneliness bigger by investigating it. I didn’t feed it evidence. I let it stay what it was — a feeling, not a courtroom. That was incredibly hard for about half an hour. Then I noticed the room felt less cruel. That’s how I knew I had done something kind for myself, even if no one else could see it.