I didn’t know whether I needed comfort or distance

Dear Delyara, That was the mood all evening. Part of me wanted closeness. Part of me wanted everyone away from me. Part of me wanted a kind voice. Part of me wanted no voices at all. I think this happens when I’m emotionally overfull. I become hard to read, even to myself. The need is there, but it changes shape too quickly to trust. Which means I often end up getting nothing, because I don’t know what to ask for before the moment passes. Tonight felt like that. Need without clean language. That has become one of my least favorite internal places.