I Didn’t Reopen the Wound

Dear Delyara, That’s what the old messages are. The old photos. The old conversations. The old version of my own life I sometimes touch when I feel lonely enough to mistake familiar pain for comfort. This week, I didn’t. I let loneliness stay in the present rather than feeding it a past that still knows how to hurt me beautifully. That hurt more at first. Then it felt cleaner. Then it felt like dignity. I’m learning that not all self-control is cold. Sometimes it is the warmest thing you can do for yourself.