I didn’t trust the good mood

Dear Delyara, A good mood came over me for a while this evening, and my first instinct was suspicion. That says too much, probably. Instead of simply enjoying the lightness, I found myself waiting for what would interrupt it. A message, a memory, a drop, a practical problem, something to prove that calm is temporary and that I shouldn’t relax too deeply into it. Eventually I did soften. But it took longer than it should have. I think stress teaches the body that peace is an interval, not a home. I’m still trying to unlearn that.