I didn’t want another “How are you?”

Dear Delyara, By the afternoon I was tired of being asked how I was in the standard way. Not because the question is wrong. Because I no longer know how to answer it without either lying politely or opening something too large for the moment to carry. So I keep choosing the smaller answer. Fine. Busy. Tired. Getting there. You know. And every time I do, I feel a little more absent from myself. I think some of my loneliness comes from how often I speak in socially manageable summaries of feelings that are not manageable inside me at all.