I Didn’t Want the Next Morning Yet

Dear Delyara, That was the final truth before sleep. Not that I was afraid of anything huge. Just that I knew exactly what tomorrow would ask from me. The school run, the meals, the mood management, the money thoughts, the checking, the carrying, the trying to sound softer than I feel by evening. I stayed awake longer than I should have because I could not bear handing myself over to the next day too early. That is a strange form of tiredness: being exhausted and still not wanting to sleep because sleep is the bridge to more of the same. I crossed it eventually. I always do. But not willingly.