I Didn’t Want to Go Inside Yet

Dear Delyara, I got home and stayed outside for a while, just standing by the front door with my keys in my hand. Not because I forgot something. Not because I was on the phone. I just didn’t want to cross into the next part of the day yet. Sometimes home feels comforting. Sometimes it feels like the place where all the things I held together outside finally come loose. Tonight it felt like that second kind. So I stood there for a minute longer than normal, listening to nothing, delaying myself from myself. I don’t know why that felt sad. It just did.