I didn’t want to say “I’m fine” again

Dear Delyara, Someone asked me how I was and I said “fine” again. I heard myself do it and felt tired immediately. It’s not exactly a lie. I am functioning. But “fine” is such a poor container for the complexity of being alive inside a difficult season. It flattens everything. It protects everyone. It closes the conversation before the real one has a chance to exist. I don’t know how to stop using that word. But I’m starting to resent it.