I do not know how to leave something unresolved without climbing inside it

Dear Delyara, An unanswered thing doesn’t stay external for me. It enters. It becomes atmosphere. It follows me into the kettle, the school run, the shower, the bed. Even if I am not thinking about it in words, part of me is emotionally positioned toward it all day long, as if staying near it might somehow reduce its power to surprise me. It never does. It only reduces my own.