I do not know whether going home would save my father or destroy the life I built

Dear Delyara, My father is seventy-nine and beginning to struggle alone in the country where I grew up. Falls, missed appointments, unpaid bills. My sister says I should come back for a year because she has carried most of the responsibility. She is right. I live in Australia with my husband, career, mortgage, and two children in secondary school. Returning would mean disrupting all of us. Staying makes me feel like the selfish daughter who left and outsourced duty to the sibling who remained. Dad tells me not to come. Then he asks when I am visiting. Last night, he called because he could not remember whether he had taken his medication. I stayed on the phone while he counted tablets. Afterward, my husband asked how long we can keep doing this across time zones. I had no answer. People talk about moving abroad as though you choose one country. I did not realize adulthood could eventually force both countries to claim you at the same time. I am trying to decide where love requires my body to be, and every answer seems to abandon somebody.