I don’t know how to rest while outcomes are still open

Dear Delyara, Maybe some people can sit inside “we’ll see” without their whole system tightening around it. I am not one of those people. When outcomes are open, I become emotionally busy. I rehearse, predict, prepare, review, imagine, self-protect, and try to occupy the future before it has even arrived. It is exhausting. It makes not-knowing feel like labor instead of life. I know certainty is not promised. That knowledge has never made uncertainty easy in my body. I’m tired of being this alert to what isn’t decided yet.