I don’t know how to stay soft while I wait

Dear Delyara, Waiting hardens me faster than I want it to. Not always visibly. Internally. I start tightening around outcomes, rehearsing possible pain, wanting answers more than I want peace, trying to emotionally pre-live whatever might happen so that I won’t be caught unprepared. The waiting becomes less about openness and more about defense. I wish I knew how to remain softer while things are unresolved. Right now, unresolved still often feels like danger delayed. That wears me down.