I Don’t Know What Needs Changing

Dear Delyara, My body? My work? My boundaries? My money situation? My marriage? My pace? My expectations? My habits? My healing? My whole life structure? That is the confusion. Everything feels connected and therefore hard to isolate. One part presses on another until the whole experience of being me becomes one crowded emotional room where I can’t tell which chair is actually causing the discomfort and which chairs are just too close together. People love simple answers. I don’t have one. What I have is a growing certainty that something is off and a growing uncertainty about where the first honest cut should be made. That is exhausting.