I don’t know what relaxed feels like anymore

Dear Delyara, I think I’ve been stressed for so long that I no longer recognize it when it starts. I only notice it when it spills into everything. I notice it when I snap too quickly. When I can’t enjoy food. When my shoulders feel hard all day. When I answer people too sharply and then feel guilty later. When even a free evening somehow still feels crowded. There is always something waiting. Work. Messages. Bills. Family. A task I forgot. A form I haven’t filled in. A decision I’m avoiding. Sometimes I sit down and realize that my body hasn’t truly relaxed in weeks. The strange thing is that from the outside, I probably look functional. Reliable, even. But internally I feel overused. Like a machine that has been left on for too long and nobody wants to admit it’s overheating. I don’t want a dramatic new life. I just want one day where nothing feels like it’s chasing me.