I Don’t Know What’s Me and What’s Damage

Dear Delyara, That is one of the hardest questions I live with now. What parts of me are preference? What parts are exhaustion? What parts are maturity? What parts are trauma adaptation? What parts are my true limits? What parts are the limits of being underfed emotionally for too long? Do I really want more quiet? Or have I simply become overstimulated beyond softness? Do I really want less from people? Or have I been disappointed enough to stop trusting wanting? Do I really feel this way? Or am I reading through the fog of depletion and old injury? I don’t know. And the not knowing is heavy.