I don’t know whether I have lost the dream or just lost my energy for carrying it alone

Dear Delyara, That feels like an important distinction, and I can’t fully answer it yet. Sometimes I look at certain goals in my life and wonder if they are no longer truly alive in me. Other times I suspect they are alive, but so underfed by isolation, responsibility, exhaustion, and delayed hope that they look smaller than they really are. It’s hard to tell the difference between a dead dream and a neglected one. I think that uncertainty has made me quieter than usual. Because I don’t want to betray myself by giving up too soon, and I don’t want to torture myself by dragging something empty for the sake of pride. I’m in that in-between place. And I don’t like it.