I don’t know whether I need a radical change or a week of uninterrupted sleep

Dear Delyara, Some days I feel certain the structure itself is wrong. The job, the pace, the roles, the access, the amount of emotional labour, the way I keep surviving without really being restored. Other days I think maybe I am simply too tired to read my own life accurately and everything looks more final than it is because my nervous system is so overused. How am I meant to know the difference when exhaustion affects interpretation itself? That is what makes this stage so hard. Not only the feelings. The uncertainty about whether the feelings are wisdom, depletion, hormones, grief, old trauma, or some layered combination of all of them. I am tired of doubting myself while also being the person who still has to make decisions.