I Don’t Need to Pretend It Never Hurt

Dear Delyara, For a long time I thought healing meant becoming untouched. I thought the goal was to speak about the past without shaking, to remember everything with grace, to be wise and calm and transformed enough that nobody could see the damage anymore. Now I think healing is something else. Healing has looked like saying, “Yes, that hurt me,” without apologizing. It has looked like recognizing patterns before they ruin another relationship. It has looked like not forcing forgiveness before my body is ready. It has looked like building a life that does not revolve around old pain, even while carrying some of it. I am not untouched. I am just more honest now. And strangely, that has made me lighter.