I don’t trust my body the way I used to

Dear Delyara, Every new symptom enters me harder now. A strange pain. Sudden tiredness. A week of headaches. Heart racing. Mood flattening. Sleep shifting. I can no longer receive these things casually. My body has changed enough over the years, and life has asked enough of it, that every small internal shift now feels like it may mean more than I want it to. I miss innocence in relation to my own body. I miss not listening this hard. It is exhausting to live in a body that still functions, still carries the day, and still quietly frightens you with its unpredictability now and then.