I don’t trust my body to stay ordinary

Dear Delyara, That’s what fear took from me. I don’t mean I’m sick all the time. I mean I can no longer inhabit a symptom casually. A headache is no longer just a headache. A tired day is no longer just a tired day. A change in appetite, a strange pain, a dizzy spell — they all come carrying the possibility of more. Once your body has frightened you enough, it becomes impossible to live in it innocently again. That’s what I miss. Innocence. Not health, exactly. Innocence.