I Don’t Trust My Own Reading

Dear Delyara, If something feels off, I don’t trust it. If something feels urgent, I question it. If something feels sad, I shrink it. If something feels dangerous, I analyse it. If something feels true, I ask whether I’m just tired. That is the confusion I live in now. I have become so used to second-guessing my own feelings that almost nothing arrives cleanly anymore. Every instinct gets cross-examined. Every reaction has to prove itself. Every discomfort becomes a debate. I think this is what happens when life has asked too much for too long. A woman stops living from herself and starts interpreting herself instead. I’m exhausted by the interpretation.