I Feel Ashamed of How Much Math There Is in My Love

Dear Delyara, My daughter wants a field trip. My son needs shoes. My husband suggests takeout on Friday because everyone’s tired. And behind every one of those moments, there I am doing invisible math like some bitter little accountant standing behind my own heart. Can we afford it? If yes, what else gets cut? If I say no, how disappointed will they be? If I say yes, what private sacrifice will I make later so the month still closes? I don’t want love to sound like subtraction in my mind. But lately it does. And I am ashamed of that. Ashamed of how quickly money pressure can turn affection into arithmetic.