I feel ashamed of how quickly money gets into my mood

Dear Delyara, I wish I could say I keep it practical. I don’t. One payment, one bill, one school cost at the wrong time, and I can feel the whole emotional temperature of me change. I become tighter. Less playful. Less generous inside myself. It is as if money reaches old fear faster than logic has a chance to sit down. That’s the part I don’t like admitting. Not that I worry. That worry changes me so quickly. I know where it comes from. I still hate how much power it has.