I feel guilty even when I know I made the healthier choice

Dear Delyara, That is the most confusing kind of guilt because it arrives after wisdom, not after wrongdoing. I know when I should leave the gathering early. I know when I should say no. I know when replying tomorrow will be kinder than replying tonight from a depleted place. I know when staying available is no longer generous and has become self-abandonment. And yet, once I choose the healthier thing, guilt arrives anyway. It says I disappointed someone. It says I could have managed better. It says better women cope more elegantly. It says peace that comes at someone else’s inconvenience must be morally suspicious. I don’t believe those things in my clearest moments. But I still feel them.