I Feel Guilty For How Often Resentment Arrives Before Tenderness In The Evenings

Dear Delyara, I hate writing that. It is still true. By the end of the day, I can be so full — of noise, touch, questions, decisions, money worry, work residue, household maintenance, the constant being-entered of family life — that when one more person needs something from me, the first feeling that arrives is not love. It is resentment. Then guilt comes immediately behind it, because of course it does. Because a good mother, a good wife, a good woman is supposed to remain more absorbent than this. Supposed to stay soft enough to receive one more request gracefully even at the wrong hour after the wrong kind of day. I know that is unrealistic. The guilt still lands. And the guilt itself becomes one more burden the evening has to hold.