I Feel Guilty for Needing So Much Space

Dear Delyara, By evening, I can want silence with a desperation that almost embarrasses me. No questions. No touching. No stories. No emotional labour. No one reaching for me. No one asking me to be warm in a new direction. And then, immediately, guilt. Because I love the people who create the noise. Because they are my family. Because wanting distance from people you love still feels like a moral failure if you’re a woman, even when it is obviously just nervous system reality. I know better intellectually. The guilt still lands first. And hard.