I Feel Guilty for Pulling Back

Dear Delyara, When I answer late. When I don’t pick up. When I say no. When I go quiet. When I need one less conversation. When I want a room to myself. When I stop being the fast warm responsive version of myself other people rely on. The guilt arrives instantly, as if withdrawal is always cruelty and never self-protection. I know that’s not true. Still, the guilt is old and skilled. It knows how to make me doubt my own need for space before anyone else has even complained. That means I often keep giving beyond sincerity. And that is part of why I’m so tired.