I feel lonelier after some conversations

Dear Delyara, That is the kind of loneliness I didn’t understand when I was younger. It isn’t the absence of talking. It’s the presence of the wrong kind of talking. I can spend an hour with someone, answer properly, smile at the right moments, share enough to sound open, and still come away feeling more alone than I did before the call started. Because none of it touched the real place. It all hovered one step above it. That kind of contact is exhausting. It gives the appearance of company without the nourishment of it. And when it happens too often, I start to wonder whether I’m becoming harder to reach, or whether most people simply don’t know how to stay close to the deeper parts of anyone anymore.