I feel loneliest when I am surrounded by practical conversation and starving for tenderness

Dear Delyara, That is the exact shape of it. Not empty rooms. Full rooms with the wrong kind of language in them. What’s for dinner. Did you reply. What time is that tomorrow. Have you seen this. Can you do that. Don’t forget that. One thousand little functional exchanges and still, somehow, not one moment where I feel emotionally met in the exact place I’m hurting. That’s why loneliness at this stage of life feels so confusing. Because from the outside, I’m not isolated. I’m embedded. Spoken to. Needed. Included. And still there are evenings where I can feel how untouched I remain by all of it. Practical language has kept the world running. It has not always helped me feel alive inside it.