I Feel Too Available

Dear Delyara, Everyone can reach me. That is the problem. Emotionally, practically, physically — there is almost no protected space left around me by certain hours of the day. A question, a need, a missing thing, a mood, a sound, a hand on my arm, my name from another room. All of it enters. I know that is part of love. I also know it has become too constant. When a woman is too available for too long, she starts disappearing from herself in tiny acceptable ways. And then people call her dependable. That word feels heavier to me now than it used to.