I Felt Embarrassed for Wanting More

Dear Delyara, I had a moment today where I wanted more from my life than what it currently is, and immediately felt ashamed of myself for it. As if wanting more is ungrateful. As if desire itself is disloyal to whatever I already have. As if longing must always defend itself before it is allowed to exist. I don’t know where that came from exactly, but it lives in me deeply. And still, under the shame, the wanting remained. Maybe that matters too.