I felt left behind by people I don’t even envy

Dear Delyara, This is hard to explain. I didn’t exactly envy anyone today. I just felt behind them. Behind their confidence. Behind their clarity. Behind their emotional steadiness. Behind the way they seem to move through life without every small thing becoming so internally loaded. Maybe I am imagining some of that. Maybe everyone feels more fragile than they look. I know that intellectually. But today I still felt like I was moving through life with heavier weather than most people around me. And I resented that a little.