I felt lonelier after saying the polite version

Dear Delyara, The polite version costs more than I admit. It keeps the room easy. It keeps the conversation smooth. It keeps me from becoming “a lot.” And it leaves me lonelier. Today I gave the polite version of how I was, what I thought, and what I actually had energy for. Everything stayed socially fine. Inside, I could feel how much of me had remained unrepresented. I think one of the quieter griefs in my life is how often I choose manageability over full truth. Even when no one explicitly asked me to.