I felt old in a tired way, not a wise way

Dear Delyara, There are days when I feel older not because I’ve become wiser, but because I’ve become more emotionally worn. Less surprised by disappointment. Less likely to hope quickly. Less easily impressed. Less willing to believe words without behavior. That kind of age doesn’t feel elegant tonight. It feels expensive. I know life teaches things through repetition and pain and disappointment. I just wish some of the lessons had come a little more gently.