I felt older today in a sad way

Dear Delyara, I felt older today. Not physically. Emotionally. Not wiser exactly. Just less easily surprised by disappointment. Less impressed by promises. Less excited by possibilities that once would have lit me up. I don’t know whether that’s maturity, damage, realism, or some mix of all three. I just know I miss the version of me who expected more from life without feeling foolish for it.