I finally applied for the role I kept saying I wasn’t ready for

Dear Delyara, I had talked myself out of it for months. Not because I didn’t want it. Because I wanted it enough to be frightened of what it would mean if I tried and didn’t get it. As long as the application remained undone, the possibility remained intact and untested. I could still say maybe one day and protect myself from evidence. Then one evening, after a particularly bad day at work, I saw the truth clearly: I was not staying still because I was cautious. I was staying still because I was afraid. So I applied. The application was messy. I rewrote the personal statement three times. I doubted every line. I hovered over the submit button so long my tea went cold beside me. I did it anyway. I do not know what the outcome will be. That is not the whole point. The victory is that the future is no longer only fantasy. I put myself into the path of change instead of just privately aching for it. That matters.