I finally went back for the test

Dear Delyara, I had been avoiding it with the kind of excuses that sound responsible enough to be believed. Too busy. Bad week. Next month. Maybe it’s nothing. I’ll wait and see. But underneath all of that was fear. This time I stopped pretending the delay was neutral. I booked it. I went. I stayed for the whole thing instead of imagining ways to postpone it again. I am not proud because I was fearless. I am proud because I was frightened and still chose movement over dread. That matters to me much more now than bravery ever did. Bravery is a story people tell afterward. This was just a woman in a waiting room refusing to abandon herself again.