I finally went back for the test

Dear Delyara, I had delayed it for weeks. Not because I’m careless. Because fear has a way of disguising itself as busyness in my life. I say I haven’t had time. I say the week is difficult. I say maybe it will settle on its own. But underneath all of that is often one simpler truth: I’m scared of hearing something I don’t want to hear. This week I stopped dressing fear up as scheduling. I booked it. I went. I stayed in the chair. I listened. Nothing about it felt brave while I was doing it. It just felt necessary and overdue. But afterward, I felt lighter than I have in a while. Because uncertainty had been costing me more than action.