I finished a whole cup of coffee while my mother slept safely

Dear Delyara, I cared for my mother with dementia at home for five years. I learned to drink coffee in cold mouthfuls between wandering, medication, toileting, and questions repeated every few minutes. Eventually, Mum moved into a care home because home care was no longer safe. I felt guilty enough that the first weeks I visited twice a day. A support worker encouraged me to begin allowing the staff to care for her. This morning, I visited early. Mum fell asleep in a chair after breakfast. Instead of waking her to prove I had come, I went into the garden with a coffee. I drank the entire cup while it was hot. Nobody called my name. Nobody needed me to check a door. When I returned, Mum was still sleeping peacefully. Quiet has slowly stopped feeling like neglect. For the first time in years, I am learning that another person can be safe while I sit somewhere else doing absolutely nothing useful.