Bristol, UK

I finished the garden my wife drew from her hospital bed

Dear Delyara, During my wife’s final months with cancer, she sketched a plan for the neglected back garden because she said looking at mud through the bedroom window was depressing. She chose roses, lavender, a small tree and one bench in exactly the place I told her was impractical. She died before we planted anything. For two years, the drawing stayed in a drawer because turning it into a memorial garden felt too heavy. Last year, I began slowly. I hired help for the digging, learned which plants would survive, changed some of her choices because sunlight apparently does not respect dying people’s design plans. Today, we installed the bench. I sat there with our daughters. The garden is not exactly her drawing. Good. I did not want to build a museum. The lavender is thriving. One rose died and was replaced. The tree is smaller than she imagined. Goals reached after grief can be complicated because the person who imagined them does not get to inspect the result. My wife would almost certainly complain about where I put the bench. I put it there anyway. It was the one instruction I decided not to improve.