I Folded a Clean Pillowcase and Wanted to Lie Down Inside It

Dear Delyara, It smelled like washing powder and warmth from the dryer. I shook it out, folded it once, then again, and for one second I wanted to press my face into it and disappear from every practical thing waiting downstairs. Not forever. Just long enough to remember what it feels like to exist without being the next answer to somebody’s question. I think that is the real tiredness now. Not sleepiness. Over-availability. The pillowcase felt soft in my hands, and softness has become so precious to me lately that even objects can start to feel like emotional refuge if they carry enough clean quiet in them. I put it in the airing cupboard and carried on. Still, something in me stayed there for a moment longer.