I Forgot I Had Been Looking Forward to Friday

Dear Delyara, I used to look forward to Friday like it meant something. Tonight I realized it was Friday at 8:30 p.m., and the whole week had passed in such a blur of effort and errands and emotional weather that I had forgotten to feel the relief I used to associate with the end of the week. That realization made me sadder than it should have. Because it means even the landmarks are going dim. Even the little built-in comforts are losing their shape. Friday. Birthday. Weekend. Date night. A day off. A coffee run. None of it lands cleanly if the person receiving it is already too exhausted to feel much. I don’t want to lose my ability to anticipate joy. I think I’m already partly there.