I get tired of acting okay before I’m actually okay

Dear Delyara, I don’t always do it for other people. Sometimes I do it because it keeps the day moving. If I stopped every time I felt low, overwhelmed, or emotionally thin, life would become very difficult very quickly. So I keep going. I answer. I smile. I say “I’m fine” or “just tired” and carry on. But there are days when I can feel the gap between what I am presenting and what I am actually feeling getting wider and wider. By evening, that gap becomes its own kind of exhaustion. I think that’s why some nights I don’t even know what I need. I’ve spent so long functioning that I lose contact with the part of me that needed something gentler earlier.