I Had an Hour With No Future In It

Dear Delyara, No tomorrow. No mental lists. No budget calculations. No body fear. No school calendar. No marriage analysis. No trying to get ahead of pain before it had actually arrived. Just one plain quiet hour. I was folding the kids’ T-shirts when I noticed it. My mind was not rushing. My chest was not braced. My face was soft. I was where my hands were. That has become so rare for me that I almost didn’t trust it. Then I thought, no — stay. Don’t narrate it. Don’t measure it. Just let peace be peace while it is here. So I did. And for one hour, I was not ahead of myself, behind myself, or trying to survive myself. I was simply there. That felt like enough.