I HATE MY BROTHER FOR SURVIVING

Dear Delyara, My brother and I were in the same car accident. I was driving. He survived with a scar above his eyebrow. My wife died in the passenger seat. Everyone tells me I should be grateful my brother lived. I know they are right. But sometimes I hate him. I hate that he comes to family dinners with the same face he had before the crash. I hate that my mother touches his shoulder and says, “We nearly lost you.” I hate that his life continued while mine stopped on the highway. He never blames me. That makes it worse. Last week, he hugged me and whispered, “It wasn’t your fault.” I pushed him away. I have not answered his calls since. I know the person I truly hate is myself. But hatred needs somewhere to stand, and my brother is still here.