I hate the person I become around money stress

Dear Delyara, I get tighter in myself. Less patient. Less able to enjoy anything simple. I start mentally cutting things before they’ve even happened. I look at ordinary pleasures and immediately calculate whether they’re irresponsible. I talk differently. Even my body feels different. That’s what I hate most about money pressure. Not only the pressure itself. The way it changes the emotional weather of me. A bill can land in the morning and still be sitting in my voice by dinner. That feels unfair to everyone around me. And humiliating to me. I don’t want numbers to have that much power over my mood. They still do.