I have a second phone my husband does not know about

Dear Delyara, The phone is hidden inside a cereal box in the pantry. It contains photographs of bruises, messages he deleted from my main phone, copies of bank statements, and the number of a domestic-abuse advocate. My husband thinks we are trying to repair the marriage. We attend counselling, eat dinner together, and discuss a holiday next spring. He has not hit me in four months. He says he has changed. I say I believe him. Every night, after he sleeps, I check the second phone and make sure the evidence is still there. I do not know whether I am preparing to leave or preserving proof in case I need to explain why I stayed. The advocate helped me create a code word with my sister. I have never used it. Sometimes my husband is gentle for weeks, and I feel ashamed for hiding a whole emergency life in the pantry. Then he raises his voice, blocks a doorway, or asks why I took seven minutes longer than expected at the shop, and I remember why the phone exists. I live in two marriages: the one he thinks is improving and the one stored behind breakfast cereal.