I have become too fluent in editing around the center

Dear Delyara, It doesn’t even feel dramatic anymore. That’s the part I find saddest. I know how to move around the center of the truth with enough ease that the conversation still feels honest to the other person. I know what to leave in, what to remove, how to redirect without obvious redirection, how to keep the room smooth while staying split inside it. That fluency has protected me. It has also become exhausting. I don’t think secrecy just hides. I think it trains the self to live divided in socially acceptable ways.